Too Black and Fat

I think about the matrimonial ads I used to read in Islamic Horizons as a child. A lot of people know exactly what I am talking about. The ads at the end of the magazine with the tacky roses...yea those... Now its funny and we crack jokes about them, but it's really upsetting when you read what qualities people are looking for in a spouse. Ok, its nice that you are fair, tall, an MD but what kind of person are you? I mean, for real? Yea, I am sure you are rolling in dough but how will you treat your wife? What type of values and morals do you uphold? No one wants to know about all this superficial crap that amounts to nothing in the end, well perhaps some people do... I was actually thinking of putting an ad in Islamic Horizons just to see if I would get responses. The ads are just horrendous. I know many good people who are actually intimidated to put ads in that magazine. If I were to put in an ad it would go as followed:

'Young Muslimah invites correspondence for herself. Well endowed, 5'7, chocolate sister seeks practicing Muslim man. Will wash your socks and dirty underwear (without complaining) and willing to take care of you, free of charge, when sick and snotty. In return Muslim man must be sensitive and gentle to Muslim woman and take care of her to the best of his abilities.'

That sounds like a pretty decent ad, don't you think? :P

This whole concept of brotherhood and sisterhood is talked about ALL THE TIME! It's preached in our sermons were reminded of it when we go to the mosque, etc... It's incredibly hypocritical because I'll act like you're my brother to your face, but when it comes to marrying my daughter there is no way unless hell freezes over. It's like, but wait aren't I your brother? Yea, you are until it comes to marrying my kid then all my defenses are up. H.Y.P.O.C.R.I.T.I.C.A.L.



Thinking about this actually makes me think of another related point. I think Black women are viewed as being at the bottom of the totem pole, in regards to attractiveness and beauty. You think about the image of beauty that's being portrayed, we totally don't fit the criteria at all! We're too dark, our hips are too wide and our hair is nappy. Just keepin' it real. Of course those perceptions exist in the Muslim community as well, as evident by these matrimonial ads. I think about myself as a teenager growing in a predominately Arab community. My features and qualities were not what other Arabs considered attractive. As a teenager, your self image is influenced by people around you. That's just the way it is. I knew I would never get married in that community. It was just too much cultural crap, which is why I don't necessarily affiliate myself with that community any longer. I'm more comfortable being in a multicultural setting and around those who have an appreciation for diversity.