Since I am actively looking for a husband I have encountered several interesting brothers. Some have been very brazen while others are more on the shy side. One thing in particular has shocked me. I didn’t know that this was so rampant among many Muslim men, and no people it’s not polygamy (before you get all excited…)
To my disappointment I have encountered several Muslim brothers who have children out of wedlock, mind you I am not talking about those who convert to Islam. I am speaking of brothers who state they are Muslim but are ‘caught up’, as some would like to put it. Some just have one while others have multiple children with different women. I just don’t understand the rationale a Muslim man has in order to initiate a relationship with a non-Muslim woman and then bring children into the picture. The confusion and deterioration of the family structure should be enough to hinder a man.
Saying all this brings me to a follow up thought. The number of Muslim women getting pregnant out of wedlock is pretty high as well (no sense in pretending like it doesn’t happen). Men are given the excuse that they got “caught up in the dunya (world)” and can easily blend back into life as a practicing Muslim. Many go onto marry other practicing Muslim women who are fully accepting of their situation. Everyone deserves a second chance so I think that’s great.
Now on the other hand Muslim women don’t have it so easy. Most women who have children out of wedlock are shunned from the community or succumb to secret abortions due to cultural/societal pressures. Now I am not suggesting that we allow this type of behavior to continue and accept all with open arms. I am merely suggesting that we have available resources to people who fall into these situations. A woman should never feel that abortion is her only option. Then, I ask well if these women did keep the babies how many brothers would marry them? As women, I feel like we are more accepting of brothers who fall of the deen but brothers don’t seem that forgiving. I’m not exactly sure what to attribute that to.
I feel like Muslims initiate impermissible relationships for several reasons. The main reason is prolonging marriage. Waiting and procrastinating when it comes to marriage has many ill effects and one of those includes fornication (keep it real, keep it real…) Along with that there is a lack of patience when it comes to finding a suitable spouse. Finding a mate doesn’t happen overnight (well for some of us it does) but most will inform us that they went through a couple bad apples to get to the relationship they are at today. Patience is the key and you taste the sweetness of success in the end. Lastly, many Muslims have just given up on marriage. This is somewhat related to the patience part I was speaking of earlier. All this talk “There are no good brothas out here” or “I have too much baggage for a sister” are constant rationales Muslims use that prevent them from meeting suitable mates. If you don’t have a good attitude about marriage how can you possibly expect others too? I know it sounds cliché but searching for a spouse is honestly what you make of it.
Peace, Love and ever-lasting happiness to all!
BMWomyn
Monday, March 5, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
A Reflection of Black Power Mixtape
Today, I went to a movie screening of Black Power Mixtape. The movie consisted of footage compiled by Swedish journalists during the Civil Rights movement in 1967-1975. Apparently, this had been the first time this footage was aired. Almost like a hidden gem waiting to be found. Footage included that of Stokely Carmichael, Angela Davis, Huey P. Newton, etc. It was informative, educational, powerful and devastating all at the same time. It was a time lined documentary and highlighted the major events that took place in the Civil Rights era. It started with the succession of the Black Panther Party and ended with the introduction of dope into the ghettos of Black America.
I’ve always had a deep fascination with the Black Panthers. Many people like to consider them the violent sector of the movement without giving dues to the solid identity they gave many Black people during this time. The Black Panther Party essentially coined terms such as “Black pride” and “Black power”. This movement gave Black folks a solid and proud identity. Along with that, many fail to realize that Headstart (a federally funded program that offers assistance to under privileged children) was started by The Party. Along with their revolutionary ideology they understood the importance of focusing on the youth by offering free breakfast and educational opportunities for the young folks. The numerous images in the film of Black children singing songs of being “Black and Beautiful” really hit me hard because this is what our youth are missing today. The idea of feeling unworthy and ashamed of being Black is a huge issue within our community. It really boggles my mind (even though many of us are aware of sneaky tactics the U.S. government is capable of) to think that many of the Black Panther Party members are dead or imprisoned (H. Rap Brown, Mumina Abu Jamal, etc…) for ‘crimes’. Anyone with an ounce of common sense can see how they were framed. This movement was for the people by the people and needless to say it was POWERFUL! They were radically changing the Black man and bringing him into consciousness. Talib Kewli was one of the commentators of the film and he said that he was listening to speeches that Stokley Carmichael gave in the early 1970’s for an upcoming album. He said that he was approached by the FBI and questioned about what his motives were for listening to Stokely. This within itself is proof that the words were and continue to be a threat to the U.S government.
After the dissemination of The Party The Nation of Islam gave Black folks the same feeling of belonging and pride. The Nation brought us back on track after many of the Panther leaders were jailed or assassinated by the U.S. government. Even though I don’t agree with the fundamental theological concepts of the Nation I do acknowledge the tactics they used to uplift Black people. Appearance, education, and personal accountability were and continue to be important aspects of the Nation of Islam. It gave us direction and a purpose after being beat down for so long.
The movie made me reflect on our current state as Black Americans. I thought about how many of the pertinent issues of the 1960’s still exist today. Of course we are able to drink out the same water foundation but I think it’s important to look beyond that. The lack of educational opportunities and the high rate of Black male imprisonment (over 60%) are still issues to this day! Before the Internet information was not easily accessible but these revolutions still occurred and they were successful at the time. Now that we literally have all the information at our fingertips why haven’t we had similar movements? Is it because information is controlled? Are we too busy on facebook ‘liking’ causes rather than actually getting up and doing something about it? All these thoughts made me ponder about the whole situation. We can look at the situation in Egypt and understand how the Internet played a major role in the revolution. Can you imagine if Angela Davis or Malcolm X had the Internet to spread their message? That would have had amazing outcomes!
Image: http://novoscene.wordpress.com/2007/10/26/black-panther-party-41st-anniversary/
I’ve always had a deep fascination with the Black Panthers. Many people like to consider them the violent sector of the movement without giving dues to the solid identity they gave many Black people during this time. The Black Panther Party essentially coined terms such as “Black pride” and “Black power”. This movement gave Black folks a solid and proud identity. Along with that, many fail to realize that Headstart (a federally funded program that offers assistance to under privileged children) was started by The Party. Along with their revolutionary ideology they understood the importance of focusing on the youth by offering free breakfast and educational opportunities for the young folks. The numerous images in the film of Black children singing songs of being “Black and Beautiful” really hit me hard because this is what our youth are missing today. The idea of feeling unworthy and ashamed of being Black is a huge issue within our community. It really boggles my mind (even though many of us are aware of sneaky tactics the U.S. government is capable of) to think that many of the Black Panther Party members are dead or imprisoned (H. Rap Brown, Mumina Abu Jamal, etc…) for ‘crimes’. Anyone with an ounce of common sense can see how they were framed. This movement was for the people by the people and needless to say it was POWERFUL! They were radically changing the Black man and bringing him into consciousness. Talib Kewli was one of the commentators of the film and he said that he was listening to speeches that Stokley Carmichael gave in the early 1970’s for an upcoming album. He said that he was approached by the FBI and questioned about what his motives were for listening to Stokely. This within itself is proof that the words were and continue to be a threat to the U.S government.
After the dissemination of The Party The Nation of Islam gave Black folks the same feeling of belonging and pride. The Nation brought us back on track after many of the Panther leaders were jailed or assassinated by the U.S. government. Even though I don’t agree with the fundamental theological concepts of the Nation I do acknowledge the tactics they used to uplift Black people. Appearance, education, and personal accountability were and continue to be important aspects of the Nation of Islam. It gave us direction and a purpose after being beat down for so long.
The movie made me reflect on our current state as Black Americans. I thought about how many of the pertinent issues of the 1960’s still exist today. Of course we are able to drink out the same water foundation but I think it’s important to look beyond that. The lack of educational opportunities and the high rate of Black male imprisonment (over 60%) are still issues to this day! Before the Internet information was not easily accessible but these revolutions still occurred and they were successful at the time. Now that we literally have all the information at our fingertips why haven’t we had similar movements? Is it because information is controlled? Are we too busy on facebook ‘liking’ causes rather than actually getting up and doing something about it? All these thoughts made me ponder about the whole situation. We can look at the situation in Egypt and understand how the Internet played a major role in the revolution. Can you imagine if Angela Davis or Malcolm X had the Internet to spread their message? That would have had amazing outcomes!
Image: http://novoscene.wordpress.com/2007/10/26/black-panther-party-41st-anniversary/
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