You know how your parents tell you things and then follow it up with 'You'll understand it better when you get older...' Oh my Allah, did that get on my last nerve! I think its a natural response not to understand exactly what your parents mean and think you already understand whatever there is to be understood. My grandmother used to say 'A hard head makes for a soft behind.' My gosh was she right! Most of us are so headstrong when we're young and to top it off highly naive. We think we know everything and fall into mistakes that could have been easily avoided if we just listened to our elders. Thankfully, I never made any huge mistakes because I am a self-proclaimed scaredy cat and extremely cautious. I always think to myself that some mistakes are easy to recover from, but others can impact the rest of your life. I don't consider babies to be mistakes, but I can't help but think about this when I see pregnant teenagers in the hospital. Granted it's not right to assume that everyone has parents who can guide them, but for those of us that do its important to listen. What really gets me about teenage pregnancy in particular is that its a cycle. A majority of girls who have babies have mothers who were teenagers when they had them. I just don't get it.
Back to the topic! I've always had a pretty close relationship with my mom and stepdad. I was closer to my mother just for the simple reason that she's another woman. My stepdad is a great man, I hope Allah continues to bless him for taking care of me. Ameen. When you're young I think its normal to put your parents on a pedestal and think that they are perfect and know everything there is to know about life. This is before you hit your mid teens, mind you! Once you get older you realize your parents are just people. People, just like you, who are trying to navigate the complicated road of life.
I'll be turning 25 soon inshAllah and I am slowly reaching the point where I can better understand what my mom was talking about when I was younger. Personally, I feel like my early 20's was a state of self exploration. You are in the state of trying to find yourself and determine where you fit in. I have been told by several people that once you get closer to your 30's you are pretty set and that is the way I am starting to feel. I still have 5 years to go inshAllah! :-) I am more accepting of my individuality and feel more comfortable expressing it. Thank you Allah.
Peace, Love and ever-lasting happiness to all!
BMWomyn
Personally speaking, when I realised that my parents were just ordinary humans it made all their efforts so much more incredible. They had all the same stuff to deal with and they still did all those incredible parent things.
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